Esteem and confidence are different.
This is a key concept I teach in my 3-Week Confidence Bootcamp.
Esteem and confidence are, of course, related. They are like cousins or even siblings. But, they are different.
Esteeem relates to the present. Confidence relates to the future.
Someone with high esteem thinks positively about themselves in the present moment.
Someone with high confidence thinks positively about themselves in the future.
Specifically, a confident person believes in their ability to perform in the future, and in their ability to handle things that might go wrong.
Here's something really important- a confident person believes that they won't get hurt.
They know temporary discomfort is likely. But, they know they know it won't be permanent.
A confident person believes that they can step into any situation and be ok, regardless of the outcome.
Whereas a person who lacks confidence is unsure of what they can handle and is very worried about getting hurt.
Specifcially, they are worried about getting hurt emotionally. This might look like judgment, criticism or disappointment.
They aren't confident if they can handle these emotions.
Let's use an upcoming listing consultation as an example.
The confident person says...
"I got this. I am completely prepared. I completely believe this will go really well. Even if it doesn't, I won't make it mean terrible things about me."
The person who lacks confidence says...
"I'm not sure I'm ready. I hope this goes well, otherwise I am going to feel awful about me."
Here's the good news. We can teach ourselves how to think confidently. We can learn not to harass ourselves if things don't go as planned.
We just have to practice!
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